Saturday, May 12, 2018

My Mom always says:

I wus in a speshol aig.

Mommas, I should probably check out at this point.

First goal: complete.

Next goal:  Address "How did Dirty-Sex-Baby-Number-Three get in your belly?"

Sweet cheeses.

Happy Mother's/Mothers' Day!

How can I help?

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Cheese and rice wtf happened with technology

Spent last 30 minutes denying my real persona.

Not sure this mike is live.

Women. We got some shit to fix.

Let’s catch up.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I don't remember sacrificing a goat

All is well. Killed her meds and prepared for the worst.

Lydia is on top of the world.


It was a non stimulant. She hated the feeling of a giant wet blanket holding her down.

She is a delight. She is a leader. She is happy.

Ok. Thrilled.


It must be my fault. Right?

Ps - when she saw me notably upset the day after elections, she said, Don't worry Momma. I can be the first girl president.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Medicine ups and downs for the ADHD kid with ODD on the side


So Lydia went on meds for the ADHD/ODD.  She switched meds As it wasn't working.

We took her off the second non stimulant last week.  Beastly at home.  Creature like.

Welcome to the Garden of Eden.


We had her 504/IEP meeting with school. Lydia does not qualify for either.  Want to know why?  She is a TOP mother fucking student.  Not just good.  TOP.  STUDENT.

Can I get a 504/IEP for home?

We continue to struggle, but she is remarkably better since stopping the medication.

Is it age?  Is it the regimen of school and activities?  Who the fuck knows.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Things I lie about to my kids

Have mercy.

The oldest asked if I ever had a boyfriend before daddy.  Peppering me with questions.  Laser focus, the hyper focus enjoyed by those with ADHD when they like a subject.

Rocco and I were married when i was 36.  37?  Had boyfriends galore and an ex husband by then.  Where in the world did she learn about this?  I dodged the question.

Is it time to tell them about dead end marriages with abusive alcoholics?

When do I tell them about the baby who died before they were born?

When do I tell them what medical termination means.

Incompatibility with life.

Now all of a sudden the donor egg question doesn't seem as scary.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

A good old fashioned Lexapro cry

Crying sucks.

I always try to stop it.  Since I am yakked up on 30mg of Lexapro I am usually successful. Always successful.  I feel the tears and I shut them off.

Therapist say cry = good.  Cry = release.  Cry = growth.

I say cry = surrender.  Cry = losing.  Cry = not in control.

This wkend was so long and so horrible.  Lydia is consuming all the oxygen in this house.

We walk around waiting for the bomb to explode.

It did and I sobbed like a momma should.  Man I really feel better but maybe it is because no one is home right now but me.