Friday, September 16, 2016

Things I lie about to my kids

Have mercy.

The oldest asked if I ever had a boyfriend before daddy.  Peppering me with questions.  Laser focus, the hyper focus enjoyed by those with ADHD when they like a subject.

Rocco and I were married when i was 36.  37?  Had boyfriends galore and an ex husband by then.  Where in the world did she learn about this?  I dodged the question.

Is it time to tell them about dead end marriages with abusive alcoholics?

When do I tell them about the baby who died before they were born?

When do I tell them what medical termination means.

Incompatibility with life.

Now all of a sudden the donor egg question doesn't seem as scary.


  1. Very tough stuff.
    I try to explain to my 4 year old about why her brother doesn't live with us and death and all that but so far I'm not doing the best job. My first attempt ended up with her comparing God to a genie because genie's can make things with magic too.
    I'm totally going to lie about underage drinking and other shenanigans though!

  2. Here are heavy and sad truths. Remember lying awake wondering how I would be able to guide my children while still keeping private from them truths I would be more comfortable they didn't know. Trust you'Il know what is good for them to know and when, and how to tell them because of how you are bonding with them, and the love and respect they have for their Momma, which is one of the most tender goods we get to experience. Conversely sometimes "need to know basis" is a good thing. Wish would have followed that advice when my fiancé/husband asked about earlier boyfriends ;).

  3. I have been talking about donor conception since my son was born. I have no idea how to talk about the losses that led us there. Ugh.